The Sour Deluge is the name of a certain, very serious malady, only recently described in the literature, but one which has certainly existed for as long as humankind has, and likely considerably before the day we descended from the trees to walk on our backhands. It presents with the following symptoms.

Stage I:

“Chest-gnawing”: A twisting, aching, sometimes itching feeling in and around the solar plexus. This appears in the very early stages of the Deluge and is accompanied by increasingly severe nausea and dry heaving. It is not to be confused with anxiety or panic; if symptoms of anxiety are present—e.g. cold sweat, tachycardia, fainting—this is almost certainly an indication that the Deluge is not beginning, at least not yet. Additionally, the chest-gnawing does not relent for more than a day at a time, eventually becoming constant.

Persistent jamais vu: A continual feeling of unease and separation from what is real, feeling that what was once “obviously” real, familiar, and commonplace, has become completely alien. This is often mistaken for depersonalization/derealization, but can be differentiated therefrom by its complete lack of response to medical intervention.

“Intrusive void”: Intrusive thoughts, feelings, reflections, and visions of a tremendous and all-consuming Void. Often the afflicted will suddenly flee his surroundings without any prior indication, running on foot until overcome by exhaustion.

Stage II:

“The headache”: Presenting at first as a dull, constant headache behind the eyes and circling the head, and ending abruptly before the occipital bun, the infamous headache eventually spreads throughout the entire head, with a feeling of “infinite descent.” This is described as the sensation that the aching, felt only at first around the periphery of the skull, moves inward into the center of the brain, but that this feeling never ends and the pain only increases in severity. This is the most common symptom leading to the premature end of so many lives, and so why only approximately one third who make it to stage II experience successive stages of the Deluge.

“Turning on the flesh”: Dissatisfaction with physical embodiment in general and emotion in particular. This is the beginning of self-harm for most sufferers. The afflicted often complains of “hating [this] suit,” and expresses a desire to be lobotomized. Of course, under no circumstance should a lobotomy be performed. This has been shown only to increase the severity of symptoms.

Hyperthermia and hyperhidrosis: Excessive feelings of ambient and internal heat with pronounced, foul-smelling sweat. The sweat is described as smelling “of death” by many, though some claim that it has a vaguely sweet, though still unpleasant smell. The afflicted is unaware of the smell, and so are any others who have begun their encounter with the Deluge.

Stage III:

“Sense shift”: A sudden, often shocking, hypersensitivity of all senses except taste, the latter being eliminated completely. The hypersensitivities border on the fantastical. Many studies report that sight is enhanced to the point where infrared wavelengths become detectable. Hearing and touch become sensitive enough to detect microearthquakes, often hundreds of miles from their origin. The sense of smell becomes so acute that those who have reached Stage III find themselves forced to wear facemasks at all times, lest they be overwhelmed by what is undetectable even to scientific instrumentation. Taste, however, disappears. In a minority of cases, this presents with oral paresthesia and a feeling that one’s tongue “belongs to someone else.”

“Inconsistent inner monologue”: This is distinct from voices, internal or external, found in psychotic disorders, and consists of one’s inner monologue becoming disjointed and uncontrollable. Even individuals who claim lifelong anendophasia report the sudden appearance of an inner monologue, but that it does not make sense—again, being disjointed and uncontrollable. Thoughts can be conjured, appear, but disappear at random, replaced by garbled, but semi-intelligible “non-language.” This is the second symptom which marks a steep increase in self-harm and premature death in those succumbing to the Deluge, as the “non-language” is understood to be “revealing too much of what is beneath” by those who are able to make sense of the monologue. 

“The great vomiting”: A steadily maintained vomiting of all things ever eaten. This is the most contentious symptom, given the wide variety of presentations and reports. There are two camps considering the nature of vomiting. One is called the “literalists” the other, the “non-literalists.” The point of disagreement is quite stark. The so-called “vomiting of all things ever eaten” is, in fact, a greatly protracted period of time in which the sufferer vomits many times a day. Furthermore, regardless of what the person has eaten, the vomitus contains a wide variety of foodstuffs in various stages of digestion. While certainly puzzling, it is quite possible that these reports are a result of insufficient monitoring of the sufferer’s food intake. What is more puzzling is that the contents show things consumed to which the person had no obvious recent access. As such, along with the extended period of time during which this repeated, productive vomiting occurs, it is referred to as the vomiting of “all things ever eaten.” The literalists, who are in the minority, take this to be true, seeing no other way to explain the bizarre nature of the symptom. The non-literalists, who are still forced to admit that the Sour Deluge is, in fact, an inexplicable and likely non-material affliction, merely reject the idea as nonsensical.

Stage IV:

“The obsessions”: The sudden appearance of an all-consuming obsession with “purity, wind, circles, time, and secrets.” This is the sole symptom of the terminal stage of the Sour Deluge. The sufferer, who has likely long been hospitalized, should be moved into hospice. The obsession presents as a complete inward turn. He becomes increasingly non-verbal after a short period of ramblings related to the aforementioned obsessions. After this, graphomania sets in, lasting up to a month, shifting into pure graphorrhea. In some, this is accompanied by other artistic expressions but, as with the writing, these eventually become essentially random, meaningless assemblages of color and form. At some point, the sufferer enters a state of oscillations between catatonia and cataplexy, becoming in under a month a state of permanent catatonia. End of life considerations have hopefully been made by this point. The sufferer should not be left alone overnight. It is not uncommon, after some time in the final catatonic state, for the person to succumb fully to the Sour Deluge, and to be found having flayed himself to the best of his ability before succumbing to his injuries.

There is no known cure for the Sour Deluge. The only treatment which shows some capacity to slow its progression consists of silence, prayer, and exposure to extreme violence.

Recently, a set of prodromal symptoms has been assembled. Please be aware if you find yourself experiencing the following: A nauseous boredom punctuated by fleeting shadows in your peripheral vision, long bouts of insomnia in which you also remember dreaming, encountering identical twins more than usual, and a growing interest in the sound of the wind in the trees.